The new age social party crashers.
Let's talk about party food, baby
Let's talk about you and me
Let's talk about all the good things that...I..made to eat
And all the bad annoying trendy food hipster things that you may be
Let's talk about regular beer
Let's talk about straight cookout food
Let's talk about common courtsey
Let's talk about shut the fk up and eat what is provided to you
yeah..Let’s talk about party food, BABY!
Okay, in today’s blog entry I want to discuss the growing trend of what I refer to as “The new age social party crashers” If you have attended a cookout, picnic, BBQ, Special gathering, Birthday party or Corporate event you have no doubt encountered one of the following individuals bellow. I refer to them as “Diet fad” & “Beer snob”
Ahhhhh yes, we all immediately know what I’m talking about. NOW, this in no way shape or form refers to any individual who has to live by a special diet due to a legit allergy, medical condition or other treatment / weight loss plan. Oh no, this annoyance is with the self proclaimed foodie/craft beer individual who finds it necessary to come to an event as a guest but yet feel the need to make special food requests when they have no reason other then they decided to try a specialized diet to “enhance” their life….
If you wish to improve your health, by all means bravo! I will support you...but do not come to an event and make special requests when you aren’t paying for a damn thing. Can you imagine Jesus frustration if the “Feeding of the Multitude” was to occur today?? Bethsaida would be full of people saying that they could not eat the fish because of pcb’s nor the bread because they have broken their dependence to gluten. Or better yet they can only eat the foods customized by their food coach.
Beer snobs are another annoyance to me. Now, I have had some delicious IPAs. I respect the craftsmanship and work that goes into making your own brew. No disrespect to those crafters but again if you come to a social gathering and you are offended by the thought of simple “redneck” beer such as coors, budweiser or pbr being available then please bring your own smart ass. That also doesn’t give you a pass to boast about how your IPA is superior.
Honestly, I don’t care that your 6 pack is a special edition brew that is only made during the third lunar phase in the hills of Pennsylvania while it rains on a slate roof with the actual Punxsutawney phil hanging upside down with an m80 shoved in his ass causing perspiration to drop into the hops to give it that slight full bodied panic and earthy undertow complimenting the beastly nature for the sophisticated palate…….wow, that is fascinating buddy..my jam from Journey’s Raised on Radio is about to come on next on my playlist and my cheeseburger with cheese from a singles wrapper is burning so laters.
My ultimate point is that when I was a kid and even a teen if you were a guest someplace even if you didn’t really care for the food you shut up and picked at it or simply waited until you left and ate after. Now, everyone has allergies, special diets, religious restrictions to the point that throwing a get together with food is as difficult as landing a jet on aircraft carier with 0 experience.
Perhaps going forward we should throw parties with holographic food? I mean why not?? no one gains any weight, the food never spoils. You certainly never run out and ole uncle morty can’t double dip in the chip dip. social food gathering are supposed to be about basic fun and enjoying the company. I suggest if you have a specialized diet then please bring a dish to share with everyone. Instead of saying a spread does not meet a trendy hipster standard, you should be thankful in today’s world we still as humans have social gatherings. I suppose within the next 5 years all parties will be via facetime and online meetings seeing how we become less personal and more connected through technology. Which is hilarious as I am giving my opinion about social gatherings…..ONLINE.
Mark E. Schmidt.
August 19, 2015
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