The ties that bind and stand the test of time.

                      

The ties that bind and stand the test of time. 

"no cord or cable can draw so forcibly, or bind so fast, as love can do with a single thread" -Robert burton

November 1997, I recall upon those days with clear and joyful memories. I had hair! I was playing drums in a successful local and regional band. I was dating my first true love Jade. I was 17 and a Junior in High School. This had shaped up to be one of the most memorable autumn's to date.

Of course in November 1997, my family and I month that me and my family I received the crushing news that the ongoing respiratory illness my Mother had been contending with was something much sinister.

"I have cancer" she said in tearful eyes to me and my Brother as my Father stood next to her. She explained it was lung cancer, that she would see a specialist to determine the next option. Sitting there I can still remember myself saying it must be a mistake, but we knew given her illness the last few months that this was very real and serious. The age of innocence for my teenage years had gone. From that day onward, i knew that life, had changed forever.

I spent my Jr & Sr year of high school living my days as a normal high school student. I was busy with school work, playing drums in the band Wrath while recording and traveling for shows. I maintained a relationship with Jade, all the while I adjusted my schedule at school to help accommodate my Moms chemo, surgeries and many inpatient hospital stays.

During this time my Mom began making Afghan blankets (or throws). She passed the time by knitting and trying keeping a strong outlook. It seemed almost daily that I would bring my mom to a fabric shop where she would spend a minimum of an hour just looking and deciding on spools of fabric or yarn. I admit that I had my moments i would get sooo bored. (This was 1998, no smartphones)  she was thankful for those frequent trips, I felt that creativity was helping her as much as I sometimes felt inconvenienced driving her day after day.

The afternoons of my senior year were spent on homework, playstation, band rehearsals and my relationship with Jade. I would sit and watch my Mom in her wheelchair work her crochet hooks on throw after throw. Her body was changing and she was becoming more sick. Her cancer was spreading and her hands became weaker by the day. Still, her dedication was strong even as weak and tired as she was physically, she carried on day after day.

She stayed strong to see my Brother get Married and me graduate High School. But on September 29th 1999, My Mother lost her battle with cancer. I understood why she did so many afghans now. Her last one was for me, it was my favorite color Green. She was so weak at the end of her days she simply couldn't finish it. Thankfully a family friend took on the remaining last piece and finished it for me on her behalf.

 

The throws are special as my Mother had made them not just to pass the time, but as heirlooms to pass down. With careful planning and persistence my Mom took simple string and intertwined it into something warm, beautiful and that will be passed down.

Those afghans as well mine are the definition of family and love. Taking material, bringing it together it becomes strong, like family! She was preserving and passing down our family. She must have known this was the end. In true hero fashion, she spent her final two years alive thinking of others and family, even as the cancer ravaged her body she smiled everyday and made every second count. Even in the intensive care unit.

Every day is a gift, every breath is special and we all have a place in this world. What will you do with your string and crochet hooks?

Our last family photo ever taken on June 19th, 1999 in Saratoga Springs, NY.

Mark E. Schmidt

August 07, 2015